The Quarterback

When we look at our lives we should realize the point we have reached is the sum total of where we have been, who we have met, and what experiences God has allowed us to enjoy.  I think it is easeier said that done, but it is certainly best not to have any regrets and just be appreciative of all the good things that have shaped our lives.  I recently met with a homeopathic doctor who told me when a person dwells on the negative experiences of their past, it is one of the most detrimental behaviors.  It can affect your physical health as well as mental.  He suggested that when I begin to drift into a negative state of mind, I attempt to "re-write" my own history.  He told me to pretend it's a movie in my mind and I am replacing the bad scenes with good ones.  When I finally reach a point where my mind doesn't drift to those negative places, I will realize that regardless of the bad, I still ended up in a great place.  I am right where God wants me to be, or at least I am headed where He wants me to go.

When we think about our past, it is always better to dwell on the positive.  I am grateful to have known some wonderful people and enjoyed some amazing friendships.  My friends certainly have a great deal of influence over me and I will always be thankful for the Lord's blessing of such outstanding Christian examples.  In High School I struggled with bullying like many kids do.  Young people can be insecure and when others are the least bit cruel it has a great deal of effect on our self esteem.  Most people have a desire to be popular during their teenage years, we don't realize at that age just how trivial it all is.

As a freshman in college I met one of those people who would leave a lasting impression on my life.  Tim Townsend was a former Quarterback from Hokes Bluff High School.  We met in 1991 while both studying at the Jacksonville State University School of Business.  Tim stood about 6' 1" so he sort of towered over me.  He had a great sense of humor and an immense love for Alabama football.  We began hanging out int he same group of friends: Ken Bryant, Jimmy Gables, Blaine Minton, David Wooten, etc.  Several of those guys were friends of Tim's from HB and Ken and I had graduated from Pleasant Valley.  It was my first time to really have a great group of guy friends.  In high school I was timid and had low self-esteem for various reasons.  This was a great change for me.

My  Step-Dad had taught me a lot about Alabama football and I enjoyed traveling to games with these guys.  In 1992, while we were Sophomores, JSU won their national championship as did Alabama.  It was a banner year for Gamecock and Tide fans.  Tim became a great mentor for me.  Both of us had come from divorced homes and had estranged relationhsips with our Dads.  He also helped me to reconcile with my brother who had been separated from our family for about six years.  Tim was a great Christian friend with a strong work ethic.  He worked as a bagger at Gregerson's grocery store all through college.  When were not working, we were on the road to a football game or cruising Broad Street in Gadsden.

After college as we both began to progress in our careers, Tim married his longtime sweetheart, Kelly Peek.  Kelly is a sweet southern girl.  A little younger than Tim and yet very mature.  Kelly was the perfect match for Tim and he was so excited to start their family together.  She was the love of his life.

About three months after their marriage in 1998, Tim was diagnosed with kidney cancer.  We were all devastated and surprised at his diagnosis.  Tim had been so athletic as a young man.  He was so outgoing and vibrant.  Tim endured a very serious surgery in which the tumor split and things got really scary.  It was hard to see the leader of our group facing such a medical crisis. Fortunately he survived the surgery and began his recovery.  It was not the best way to start a new marriage, but Tim and Kelly were so strong.  They had an undeniable love for each other and truly stood firmly together.  They found the positive in every situation.

Over the course of the next ten years, Tim and Kelly had three beautiful girls.  Tim continued to fight reoccuring cancer.  Our lives would head in different directions, but as the leader of the team he always kept in contact and we would reunite occasionally and share great memories.  I remember having lunch one day and telling Tim how sad I was for what all he was going through and the battle that he and Kelly endured ever since their wedding.  He was strong and adamant that this was part of his journey.  He was confident in God's plan and so determined to live a great life and be a wonderful example to his children.  I am sure on the inside and within the privacy of his closest relationships he had to wonder why, but outwardly, he never questioned.

In 2006, I was living on Lake Wedowee and Tim was working as an auditor for the state of Alabama.  He occassionally came to Randolph County for work and we made plans for him to stay over with me.  We sat up most of the night talking about all of our memories from school and our early twenties.  We talked about my depression and how difficult it was for me to handle things, when I felt he was going through so much more than I.   He told me that God designs a journey for each of us.  He said we all have burdens to bear and a purpose to influence others.  Tim never judged me for being weaker than the rest of our friends.  He always looked out for me and filled in as a big brother.  He pushed me to pursue my dreams of writing, speaking and climbing the coproprate ladder.  Most of all he encouraged me to keep God at the forefront of my life regardless of what path I took.

I have never seen such a longer line at a funeral home than when my friend passed away.  He impacted so many people and was loved by everyone.  On a football team the Quarterback is the leader.  He is generally the most respected.  A successful QB is well protected by the other players.  As I looked around the room at all the guys who had played on Tim's team over the years I realized that we all would share one major thing in common the rest of our lives.  We all became better men because of his friendship and influence.  All stronger because of his leadership.

It's been several years since we said goodbye to Tim.  I have no doubt that he has been in the football stands of Heaven cheering on the Tide the last few seasons.  I know he didn't want to leave his wife and daughters.  I know he wanted to be there for his mother, brothers and all of us.  Tim understood God had a greater plan and he was always willing to submit to His will.  He would want everyone he loved to be happy for him and to realize that he had achieved the ultimate reward a little earlier than the rest of us.

The weaker kid doesn't alwasy outlive the Quarterback.  Because I was lucky enough to have a friend like Tim, I owe it to God, Tim, and myself to be the best I can and to dwell on those good memories when times get hard, not the bad ones.  If the Quarterback could say one thing it would be "here's the ball, now run!"

Love to you all.