Recently I told a story of a sweet
little lady I met in my youth to illustrate the difference between tradition
and doctrine in the church. I received
several requests to tell the story on my blog, it is also included in the book,
Porch Swings and Prayer. The second part of this post is about another
lady named Pearl, who was not quite as lovely as the first. Enjoy…
Bertie Mae, my sweet grandmother
always taught me to respect and appreciate the elderly. Because my relationship with Granny was so
strong, I have always had a great love for “little old ladies.” As a young boy, I would sit next to my Granny
on the fourth pew from the front at the Jacksonville Church of Christ. It was our spot. We had to get there early to make sure no one
got Granny’s seat.
Bertie Mae’s friend, a widow named
Pearl Dobbs sat on the end of the pew.
Pearl was a short and round lady with a silver and white bun right on
top of her head. I used to count the
bobby pins, and I am sure there were at least 18 in that perfectly formed
mound. Pearl had a vision problem. In fact, I never knew what color her eyes
were because her lenses were so thick.
They were thicker than a glass Coke bottle. My cousins and I sat next to Pearl and helped
her find the songs in her hymnal. When
the song leader called out a number, we thumbed quickly and found it and passed
the book to Pearl, taking the book from her hand and finding the song for
ourselves. When the song leader called
the next number, we switched again.
I always found it funny that Pearl
couldn’t see the books but she had no problem driving her 1957 Chevy, with the
huge steering wheel. I guess she was
just farsighted? After church on Sunday
we would stand in the parking lot and watch Pearl drive around the
building. She would be controlling that
big steering wheel with her knees and using both hands to put a dip of snuff in
her mouth. Bertie Mae rode home with her
one time and told her, “Pearl put both your hands on the wheel!” Pearl just replied, “Bertie Mae this car
knows where it’s going.” Fortunately
Pearl returned my Granny safely. Finding
hymns in the songbook was just one little tradition for my Sunday at worship
service. It taught me to serve others
and pay attention in church. Granny knew
exactly how to teach her grandkids. As I
grow older and my eyesight weakens, I think about Pearl. I hope I get her personality as well!
There was another Pearl who drifted
into our lives when I was younger. I
wont’ give her name, but she hailed form “across the mountain” as Granny used
to say about our relatives from Chinch Creek near Piedmont. One of Bertie Mae’s cousins passed away and
her son decided to clean out her house.
He gave Granny this gaudy vase covered in buttons, broaches, and costume
jewelry. I am not sure why Bertie Mae
admired it, but she did.
Apparently the vase was rather
popular in Chinch Creek, because this second lady named Pearl came forward and
said the vase had previously been promised to her. She had admired it for years when visiting
Bertie Mae’s cousin, Alice Phillips. She
demanded that the vase be handed over to her!
Wow…we were shocked when Granny told us the story. I had to look in the vase and make sure it
was not stacked full of cash, but it wasn’t.
Granny spoke with the son who gave her the vase and he told her to do
what she wanted with it. Keep it or give
it to Pearl, he had no idea his mother had promised it to someone else. Granny always did the right thing so she
called Pearl and told her to come get it.
A couple of days later, Pearl
wheeled in our drive way in an old beat up 1978 maroon Nova. If she had not been wearing a long
flower-covered dress I would have sworn she was a man. Her voice was deeper than mine, and she was
more than a little “big-boned.” She was
rude to my Granny and I didn’t like it, but I held my tongue. She told us of her friendship with Alice
Phillips and how the vase had been a conversation piece between them for
years. I wondered what the décor of her
home looked like to make her desire this vase so much.
Pearl’s mother, Ari Martin
accompanied her on the visit and she was well into her nineties. Ari’s sister Babe was once married to Bertie
Mae’s brother. Before the women picked
up the vase and left, Pearl needed to make a trip to the restroom, so Bertie
Mae pointed down the hallway. After what
seemed like eternity Pearl emerged from the hallway. She stood in the kitchen and we were all
facing her in the living room. I was not
prepared for what happened next. She
turned around to pick up the vase and her dress tail was tucked into her
pantyhose. There was nothing between her
pantyhose and her bare skin. It was a
horrible sight!
Ari belted in a loud voice, “Oh my
Lord Pearl, put your dress down!” As
Granny ushered the women from “across the mountain” to the door, I was still on
the floor rolling around laughing. I did
not get in trouble though, Granny simply told me about a scripture regarding
“heaping coals of fire.” I knew the Lord
had made things right about my Granny’s vase being taken away.
Ahhh the lessons we all learn from
Pearls……
Love to you all.
