An Open Letter To The World

An Open Letter To The World:

I have been thinking about writing something like this for some time now.  It’s a message to the world that needs to be spoken.  This morning during my prayer and journal time, I felt as though God laid it on my heart.  Today is the day.  The timing is perfect and this is the message I need to share and I need to apply to my life as well.

Christians are not perfect, but we are not the enemy.  The Christian faith has just as many extremists as any other faith.  The far right legalistic or judgmental Christians may not resort to violence, but sometimes the damage that can be done is almost as impactful.  The legalistic and “holier than thou” movement in the church is 50% responsible for the decline of faith in this country. 

Christians are not the enemy!  Most of us are just like everyone else.  We have a deep love for humanity and are grateful that we received the gift of life and we have the hope of salvation through Jesus.  We have our faults and we sin daily.  A true Christian knows that He/She sins daily.  The Word clearly states that Jesus is the only man without sin. 

I would like to apologize personally for those in my faith and myself over the years if we have made others feel less than adequate or unworthy.  We are all unworthy compared to Jesus.  Our Father knew that we were unable to live up to the expectations and commandments.  He knew after creating man and woman and putting them in the Garden and giving free will, we were not capable of living without sin.  Does this mean we have a free pass to sin and live as we want?  That is up to interpretation, but the Bible clearly says in Philippians 2:12, “now more than ever, work out your salvation with fear and trembling.”

I am responsible for my own salvation as are you.  My problem with you the world…is that you don’t necessarily want salvation.  I want to change that.  I want you to believe in God, accept His love and gift of eternal life.  What do you have to lose?  What exactly do any of us have to change about ourselves to accept God’s love?  We can come to His cross bearing all of our burdens just as they are.  Repenting of things that are not right in our lives comes with time and on our own timetable.  This is where we as Christians make the mistake.  We demand and preach so much about sin…not every sin…only the ones that apply to others.

Last summer when the Chick-Fil-A fiasco hit the national press, Ministers everywhere were taking to the pulpit and preaching fire and brimstone about homosexuality.  The Bible clearly states that homosexuality is an abomination.  It also clearly states the same about fornication of any kind (including straight people shacking up).  It speaks with the same authority about gluttony (don’t get me started on how much Americans eat…and our national weight problem).  God’s Word condemns gossip, alcoholism, addiction, idolatry, coveting, theft, murder, divorce (brace yourself), worry, judgment, and many more.  The point I am trying to make…we all live in sin!

The beautiful message about God’s Word is that it is for all of us.  Regardless of what I say, Billy Graham, or anyone else you might look to for spiritual guidance.  For some of us, we stumble across unwanted spiritual guidance all the time.  Some of you may be fuming at this message in fact, but the point remains, you are no closer to Heaven than I and I no closer than you.  How much do you want to get there?

I believe when we accept Jesus as our Savior, the Holy Spirit then dwells in us and this is what helps us to mature and progress as a Christian.  It is the full armor of God that we read about in Ephesians 6:11.  Once we believe and accept God, the process begins to shape us into the person He wants and requires us to be.

Certainly a group of Christians have the right to determine whom they want to worship with and how they want the services to go.  God also lays out some pretty clear plans about what is expected in our service to Him, but it is up to you to interpret that in your own life.  Sister Sally Sue has no right to tell you that you are a stumbling block in her life and you can’t worship with her, here or there, etc.  The Bible does give her permission to come to you with concerns, etc.  When she presents her case, if you don’t agree, if she continues to judge you based on her (or someone else’s) interpretation, she is in fact judging…and therefore sinning. 

Read God’s Word and let it flow through you.  If you believe it has been inaccurately translated over the years, then look in your heart and meditate on what message God is telling you.  It will happen.  You will know what is right in time.  You see Sally Sue is not responsible for your salvation.  Take what she says constructively but don’t allow it to become your excuse for not studying, worshiping or serving your Lord. 

The other 50% of the fault for why this country has lost a grip on its faith is the worldly people.  We cannot lose our spiritual stance.  Stop using the excuse that Christians are fanatics and don’t understand this or that.  Stop allowing those “extremists” to stand in the way of your salvation.  You are accountable to God, not the local congregation. 

It took me a long time to realize that man is wrong.  I should not put my faith in people just because they have read the Bible more times than me.  For many years I believed it was not possible for me to go to Heaven because I was manic-depressive.  I have been told that living in worry would keep me from God’s kingdom.  Have you allowed the teachings of others to come between you and God?  Men are human.  We rarely have the ability to call our sin exactly what it is…we would much rather call your actions sin.  Think about this when you are in a discussion with someone else.  When you are talking about your vice, whether it is drugs, sex, or gambling and you are being schooled by an overweight person, their sin is just as great as yours.  A person who has a medical condition that causes them to gain weight is no different than a person who has a condition that causes them to be an addict.  Both can be medical.  Man has no right to say one is worse than the other.  No right whatsoever.  Medical rationale may demonstrate one is worse than the other, but sin is sin..stop ranking it people!  There is but one Judge!

The only way we are going to make a positive impact on this nation is to open our hearts and minds.  All sin is wrong and all sin is deadly, but there is life in the Father’s bosom.  You, me or anyone else can’t put a timeline or requirements on a person to determine when they are “officially saved” or not.  It is personal and it is between that person and God. 

My New Year’s resolution is about love not hate.  I believe that I can be a better man if I concentrate on improving me…not you.  So in this open letter at the end of 2013, I am asking you to do the same.  Give God a chance and if you are already a Christian don’t stand in the way of a tender soul that you know nothing about other than their sin, I will not stand in anyone’s way again, but I will share the beauty and glory of what it means to me to be a child of God.  I will focus on the love and positivity. Dear World…please give God a chance, I beg you.

Love to you all.

If you believe others need to read this, please share.

A Tale of Two Pearls

Recently I told a story of a sweet little lady I met in my youth to illustrate the difference between tradition and doctrine in the church.  I received several requests to tell the story on my blog, it is also included in the book, Porch Swings and Prayer.  The second part of this post is about another lady named Pearl, who was not quite as lovely as the first.  Enjoy…

Bertie Mae, my sweet grandmother always taught me to respect and appreciate the elderly.  Because my relationship with Granny was so strong, I have always had a great love for “little old ladies.”  As a young boy, I would sit next to my Granny on the fourth pew from the front at the Jacksonville Church of Christ.  It was our spot.  We had to get there early to make sure no one got Granny’s seat.

Bertie Mae’s friend, a widow named Pearl Dobbs sat on the end of the pew.  Pearl was a short and round lady with a silver and white bun right on top of her head.  I used to count the bobby pins, and I am sure there were at least 18 in that perfectly formed mound.  Pearl had a vision problem.  In fact, I never knew what color her eyes were because her lenses were so thick.  They were thicker than a glass Coke bottle.  My cousins and I sat next to Pearl and helped her find the songs in her hymnal.  When the song leader called out a number, we thumbed quickly and found it and passed the book to Pearl, taking the book from her hand and finding the song for ourselves.  When the song leader called the next number, we switched again.

I always found it funny that Pearl couldn’t see the books but she had no problem driving her 1957 Chevy, with the huge steering wheel.  I guess she was just farsighted?  After church on Sunday we would stand in the parking lot and watch Pearl drive around the building.  She would be controlling that big steering wheel with her knees and using both hands to put a dip of snuff in her mouth.  Bertie Mae rode home with her one time and told her, “Pearl put both your hands on the wheel!”  Pearl just replied, “Bertie Mae this car knows where it’s going.”  Fortunately Pearl returned my Granny safely.  Finding hymns in the songbook was just one little tradition for my Sunday at worship service.  It taught me to serve others and pay attention in church.  Granny knew exactly how to teach her grandkids.  As I grow older and my eyesight weakens, I think about Pearl.  I hope I get her personality as well!

There was another Pearl who drifted into our lives when I was younger.  I wont’ give her name, but she hailed form “across the mountain” as Granny used to say about our relatives from Chinch Creek near Piedmont.  One of Bertie Mae’s cousins passed away and her son decided to clean out her house.  He gave Granny this gaudy vase covered in buttons, broaches, and costume jewelry.  I am not sure why Bertie Mae admired it, but she did. 

Apparently the vase was rather popular in Chinch Creek, because this second lady named Pearl came forward and said the vase had previously been promised to her.  She had admired it for years when visiting Bertie Mae’s cousin, Alice Phillips.  She demanded that the vase be handed over to her!  Wow…we were shocked when Granny told us the story.  I had to look in the vase and make sure it was not stacked full of cash, but it wasn’t.  Granny spoke with the son who gave her the vase and he told her to do what she wanted with it.  Keep it or give it to Pearl, he had no idea his mother had promised it to someone else.  Granny always did the right thing so she called Pearl and told her to come get it.

A couple of days later, Pearl wheeled in our drive way in an old beat up 1978 maroon Nova.  If she had not been wearing a long flower-covered dress I would have sworn she was a man.  Her voice was deeper than mine, and she was more than a little “big-boned.”  She was rude to my Granny and I didn’t like it, but I held my tongue.  She told us of her friendship with Alice Phillips and how the vase had been a conversation piece between them for years.  I wondered what the décor of her home looked like to make her desire this vase so much. 

Pearl’s mother, Ari Martin accompanied her on the visit and she was well into her nineties.  Ari’s sister Babe was once married to Bertie Mae’s brother.  Before the women picked up the vase and left, Pearl needed to make a trip to the restroom, so Bertie Mae pointed down the hallway.  After what seemed like eternity Pearl emerged from the hallway.  She stood in the kitchen and we were all facing her in the living room.  I was not prepared for what happened next.  She turned around to pick up the vase and her dress tail was tucked into her pantyhose.  There was nothing between her pantyhose and her bare skin.  It was a horrible sight!

Ari belted in a loud voice, “Oh my Lord Pearl, put your dress down!”  As Granny ushered the women from “across the mountain” to the door, I was still on the floor rolling around laughing.  I did not get in trouble though, Granny simply told me about a scripture regarding “heaping coals of fire.”  I knew the Lord had made things right about my Granny’s vase being taken away. 

Ahhh the lessons we all learn from Pearls……

Love to you all.

Living The Best Life Possible

For many years I have billed myself as a columnist and blogger on the topic of “overcoming depression,” but the truth is I haven’t overcome anything, I am right slap dab in the middle of it.  I gave my first public speech on the topic of depression and Christianity in 2007 at the Ohatchee Church of Christ.  My friend and Minister, Wayne Dunaway had encouraged me for months that the Church and the World needed to hear my story and my views.  For almost 7 years now my battle has been more public than private.  It can be overwhelming, but it’s the right thing to do.

One of my favorite supervisors and mentors of all time is a lady named Betty Hamrick.  She is probably one of very few people in this world who can walk the talk every day, day in and out.  She is a widow, a mother of 3, and a grandmother.  She is also a tremendously successful businesswoman with the motto, “I stay above reproach.”  To simplify that motto, she just tries to do everything the right way. Her words, leadership, and example have followed me for many years and sometimes I succeed at trying to be like her and sometimes I fail miserably. 

One of the greatest benefits of being a born-again Christian is that you understand and appreciate the gift of Salvation!  Every day is a new day. God created us to be exactly who we are.  The strengths and weaknesses that I possess are different from those of anyone else.  I can’t be Betty every day, but she was placed on my path in life to teach me to strive to improve where I need to.

I know in my heart that I am doing the right thing talking about depression.  One in three Americans will face a major depression in their lifetime.  For some of us it is not temporary, it is a disease that has no cure.  It is an illness that can be managed, better sometimes, and worse others.  I am not champion or leader beyond what anyone else is, but I do recognize that God gave me a talent.  He gave me the ability and the strong desire to write and speak publicly.  It would be narcissistic of me to write and speak about space travel, art, design, construction, or other things that I know nothing about.  However, I know plenty about depression, I live with it day in and day out. 

My depression is so bad at times that I can barely get out of bed.  I make grandiose plans the night before.  I tell myself “you will get up at 5 AM and write three chapters, work out for an hour, drink a pot of coffee and watch Fox and Friends, all before going to work a 12 hour day.”  Sadly, when the alarm sounds, I can’t muster the energy to crawl from my security spot…my bed.  Most nights I toss and turn until the wee hours of the morning, only falling asleep from pure exhaustion.  I ache in my back, neck, shoulders and legs from self-induced stress and tension.  I think about how much time I have wasted in my life fighting this disease then I think how it would have been over so many years ago if I had not been willing to fight.  God is preparing something.  He is using me for something.  In my heart, I just know that there is a reason I am experiencing more, learning more, and becoming less and less inhibited. 

Jesus is my Savior and I am a very faith-driven and religious man, strong in all my convictions and brave in battle against those who would criticize faith.  Even though, I struggle daily, prayer is my medicine and God is my healer.  Publicly discussing a mental disorder may be frowned upon by some “religious” leaders and organizations, but we can’t allow that to keep us from helping one another and reaching our potential as God’s children.  Being a Christian who also suffers from depression is a gift.  It is a responsibility just as any Christian diagnosed with heart disease or cancer.  We must stand up and use our faith and encourage others to turn to God in all things.  Christians have the ability to turn negatives into positives and reach so many people that non-believers or naysayers can’t reach.  My good friend and sister in Him, Gina Brown once told me that I continue to experience everything I do so that I can be more compassionate to others who have even worse symptoms.  I believe this.  I aspire to help others.

I would be deceiving you if I didn’t say there is another reason I am so public about my struggles.  I do it for personal accountability.  As frightening as it was for me to tell everyone I love and respect that I battle depression and suffer from Bipolar disorder, it is not as frightening as realizing that you have the ability and desire to plan your own death.  Fortunately for me since I have become so outspoken, I have become more accountable to the friends and loved ones in my life and it limits my ability when I am in those dark places to contemplate suicide. 

I have been doing more research for a speaking tour at my job and there are staggering numbers about youth suicides.  Over 4,600 adolescents die each year from suicide because they think there is no other way out of a bad situation.  For anyone who lives with depression and has a strong will to live and help others, we must do something about these statistics.  This is happening in our own country and it is a mistake to stand by and allow these children to die. 

The best intervention advice I can give is in 3 simple steps.  The first is talk about it.  A person suffering must be willing to say it out loud and tell their story to others.  The more people they can tell, the more accountable they are, the safer they become.  The second step is to pray daily as many times as possible and get everyone in their circle to pray for victory.  God must be a daily factor in your recovery!  Finally, do the research and seek the kind of help you need.  It’s different for each individual but the necessity of seeking help is equally critical for everyone.  It will not get better on it’s own.  There are many options including antidepressants, herbs, talk therapy, etc. 

Please share this blog with anyone you know who might suffer from depression or any mental illness.  There is no shame in living the best life you possibly can!

Love to you all…

A Better Plan...

If you are reading one of my blogs for advice or to better understand your own mental condition or that of someone else, keep in mind that I am a lay person.  I am not a professional counselor (yet).  I am a person who has experienced mental disorder for approximately 36 years and has been professionally treated for about 12 years.  I say that so that you can understand it is okay to disagree with me if your medical professional has given you different advice.  What works for one person may not be the same for others.  Having said that, if you struggle with your current plan, then maybe what I have been through will be helpful to you.

I always explain to anyone who suffers from a form of depression that medical care can be frustrating.  It takes a lot of trial and error to determine what is your best course of action, especially if a prescription is part of your plan.  In addition, you may find that a particular dose of something only works about three months at a time before the dosage must be adjusted.  Depending on the severity of your condition, you may have been on the same anti-depressant, or “nerve medication” for a long time and see no need for change.  If that fits you…great, you are fortunate.

When I first started seeing Psychiatrists I was grateful for the help, but I was alarmed at just how fast and frequent they wrote prescriptions.  I found it very frustrating to be in the office of a doctor and after only five minutes of talking, they were pulling out their pen and script pad.  Everyone who knows me realizes that I can’t say all I need to say in five minutes.  It takes a while!  Ha!  I need more time and it honestly took a while for some of my doctors to realize that I was Bipolar because they would not listen to me after five minutes.  I went through a great deal of rapid cycling, but they would only treat me for what they heard me say in the short time they allotted me to speak.  I was very confused because I had a vision of a couch and an hour-long session…that is not the case for most Psychiatrists.  You sit in a chair across from their desk.  They herd you in and out just like your MD does…more patients to bill.

I understood the concept of trial and error, but I had serious reactions to medications.  One “anti-psychotic” script actually had me so out of it I had to crawl to the bed within ten minutes of taking it and I had horrible hallucinations.  Well maybe not so horrible, one time I was married to Dolly Parton in one of those conscious dreams.  I won’t even get into what transpired.  You get my point about the wrong meds.

At one point I was on so much lithium that it caused one of my kidneys to stop functioning.  Not good. 

I am an advocate for anti-depressants.  I don’t want to sound like I am trying to talk people out of it.  They save lives.  In my humble opinion, you have to be the person in control of what you are taking.  You have to journal; track all symptoms and have a medical professional willing to listen to all that you have to say.   He or she should care about the side effects and the feelings you are having, i.e. sleep patterns, etc.  Getting control of my meds was one of the best things I could have ever done.  It put me on the road to recovery as well as my faith and my support group.  Whatever your diagnosis, research it.  Become an expert in your own mind.  It’s your healthcare and you should be the smartest person you know regarding that disease.  It empowers you.

My family medical practitioner became one of the greatest resources for my depression and bipolar disorder.  Dr. Russell Ingram in Jacksonville has a great deal of knowledge of depression.  He treats many patients with varying mental illness.  He fully believes depression to be a medical condition.  With Dr. Ingram’s help, I was able to walk away from a great deal of medication that others had prescribed.  I won’t criticize them and say they were all wrong, but they were not working for me.  Later I added a homeopathic doctor to my medical plan, Dr. Reed Sainsbury in Rainbow City.  He treated me as a whole patient.  My first session with him lasted over two hours.  He charged me $25.  That is the sign of a medical professional who cares!

Today my treatment plan for depression and bipolar disorder is multi-faceted.  I see a medical physician, a homeopathic doctor, and a specialized counselor, just for me.  Did I mention she has a couch?  Guess what, all of that added together is less than some of the meds I was paying for five or six years ago.  My plan includes praying, meditation, journaling, herbs, homework, friends, etc.  Most of all, it involves a lot of talking and writing…what I do best.  I am using the talents that God gave me to overcome this disease.  Sometimes it’s an uphill battle and I feel differently from season to season…but today, I feel like I am winning.  How do you feel about your plan?

Depression or other related mental illnesses are nothing to be ashamed of.  More people have these diseases than you can imagine.  For many years society prevented us from feeling confident about publicly discussing the disease or asking for help.  If I accomplish anything, in my own part of the world, I hope to change that view. 

Take charge of your own life and your own health.  I am happy to be a resource or a support to anyone in need.  God willing…one day I just may have one of those counselor titles behind my name and I can work even more for our health!  God bless and love to you all.