Self Esteem Factor

Why is it that we are always so concerned what other people think of us?  Why do we define our own success based on the approval or opinnion of others?  It's a common character flaw that most people deal with from time to time.  I would like to think the need to please everyone else lessens as we mature, but I am not sure it applies in all cases.  Self esteem is a key factor in battling any sort of chemical imbalance.  It's crucial to have a high enough opinion of ourselves to outweigh what negative thoughts others may have.

Another form of weakness that some feel is paranoia.  When we doubt ourselves, we start to believe that others are doubting even more.  I have done this to myself many times.  I have defined my own success through comparison to what someone else has accomplished.  Oh, if Joe Cool over there has that big job and that new home and car, he must think I am a failure???  The truth is that Joe Cool is probably wishing there was something different about himself as well.  He may be looking at me thinking, "wish I was more like Rob when it comes to this or that."

Chemical imbalances can play tricks on our thoughts.  One negative thought can turn into a huge obstacle.  Sort of like my mother has always told me, "you make mountains out of molehills."

God's Word tells us not to covet one another.  Our interpretation of that may only apply to material posessions, but God meant it to apply to every aspect of life.  If we admire someone'e great personality, it's okay to strive to be like that person.  In fact, as Christians hopefully we do influence each other in positive ways.  The important thing is not to look at someone else's good habits and think of it as a stumbling block in our own lives.  "Oh, I will never be like that.  I don't have what it takes to be as good as him."  View the good qualities of others as motivation or an example of how you can improve.

When my mother and step-dad allowed me to start driving and going out with friends, I would always stop by Granny's porch and let her "see me" before leaving.  She would always pray for my safety on the road and then give me her advice about surrounding myself with good people.  She would always ask me who I was hanging out with.  My best friend in school and college was Ken Bryant.  He is probably one of the best men to ever enter my life.  He's down to earth, respectable, honorable, and just a regular good ole boy.  He was a great influence on me.  I used to tell Granny, "I am a lot meaner than anyone I am hanging out with."  I am not sure if this was an exaggeration or not, but I said this because I was a pretty decent kid and I wanted my Granny to know that my friends were all better people than me.  I said this trying to be humble.  In my opinion Ken is a much better person than me.  He is smart, talented, has a beautiful wife and three amazing kids, but I don't covet him.  I am happy for him.  He deserves all the happiness life can give.  Where I am wrong is thinking all of Ken's accomplishments make him better than me.  He would be the first to stand up and say Rob Goodwin is a great man.  You see, humility is a good thing, but not if we allow it to diminish our self esteem to a point that it contributes to our depression.

Having a high enough opinion of ourselves so that we can accomplish good things is important.  Every time I have failed in my life it is becaause I willed myself to do that.  I have a very bad habit of waiting for the other shoe to drop.  Realism is good, but pessimism is not!  Anything worth having takes work and you have to start out with an attitude of victory not failure.  This is a lesson I am learning with maturity.

The poeple who love us the most in this world suffer when we put ourselves down.  Think about the one person that you love more than anyone else, your mate or a child.  Maybe it is your parent or a best friend.  What if they constantly demeaned themselves or pointed out their flaws to a point that it held them back in life?  It would make you sad.  You woudln't like that.  We have to think of others when we are developing and implementing our outlook on life.

One last thing I want to say about this subject is that we can't blame other people for our situations or  low self esteem.  God says do not put your faith in man.  Don't let your attitude or approach to life rest in how someone else feels about you.  We don't all click with one another.  We don't all have the same chemstry as friends.  Some people don't appreciate my honesty or openness about my disease, but that doesn't mean I will change who I am.  I follow what 's in my heart and what is in God's plan.  The notes of encouragment and the thank yous push me forward and strongly outweigh anyones distaste for me.

God is the architect of our lives.  He has the plan, but He gives us the tools to build.  He is the designer, but we do the painting.  We decide the strokes and the colors.  Be thankful for the self control and freedom we are blessed with. Follow God's lead, not what your neighbor, co-worker, or friend has done.

Maybe it's all the vitamin D from the sunshine I have gotten today, but I love myself.  I am proud of what I am doing.  I believe it's what God designed.  I know in my heart the same applies to you as well.  Love to you all.