A Demon Called Discontent

I would like to preface this blog by saying that I am grateful to God for allowing me to grow, mature, and understand the innerworkings of my mind and how I deal with my mood swings.  I don't think anyone can ever truly get to the root of what causes us to experinece so many emotional swings, without growth and maturity.  We chalk it all up to "chemical imbalances," take our meds and go on our way.  As I learn to meditate more on God's Word and document my ups and downs, it helps me to understand my body and mind more.  Thank you Lord for helping me to gain more patience and perspective with myself and with others.  I attribute this growth to the continued development of my spiritual and prayer life.

As human beings we constantly sabotage ourselves.  There is no greater enemy against achieving our goals than the person staring at you in the mirror.  I know this from experience and talking with others.  It is fact.  Human nature causes us to procrastinate, make excuses and feel discontent.  Have you ever accomplished something really big in your life only to feel dissatisfied the next day and wonder what is next?  What do I have to look forward to now?  One of the symptoms of my battle with Bipolar Disorder is that I rarely feel content.  I am always searching or "dreaming" for something more.  For many years I have called it my biggest character flaw.  I realize now that it is more than that and will take greater effort on my part and guidance from my Heavenly Father.

Character flaws can be corrected.  You just have to truly arrive at a point of repentance for this behavior, right?  Easier said than done.  I've had this "flaw" from the time I was old enough to speak.  Grandiose plans and vivid illustrations of my future were a normal part of my conversation with others even as a young boy.  My family and friends would just laugh and say "sure Robby."  The older we get, the more embarrassing it can be to be known as the person who is always "gonna do this or gonna do that."

I have aged and been burned so to speak by my own predictions, ideas, and unrealistic plans.  I realize that this burden is more than a character flaw or sin.  I can't just pray it away without doing the work.  I can't just ask forgiveness and move on without making a change.  There's a lot of grief in discontent.  It breeds depression on its own without the help of any outside influence.  Sitting by a beautiful pool on a hot summer day sounds pretty relaxing right?  It is unless you spend the entire time daydreaming about one day when you can live at the beach, a hammock tied between palm trees, and the sound of the waves rushing in.  This is a simple illustration and there is nothing wrong with occasionally daydreaming about living at the beach, but when a person's mind will not allow them to enjoy real life moments without dreaming of more, it can be torture.  An unfulfilled life is a sad life.

In the scriptures God instructs us not to covet what belongs to our neighbor.  Covetousness is a serious aspect of discontent.  A person who is discontent will never appreciate what they have because they are too busy wanting what someone else has.  Sounds like a bad character flaw?  The truth is if we all are honest with ourselves, we have a little bit of that inside of us.  For me, it comes in cycles.  Cycles that I don't seem to know how to control.  I know that I have struggled with contentment my entire life and I know it comes and goes just like my sad, happy, and angry moods.
Technology allows us to keep up with famous celebrities and capture moments of their lives every day through social media.  Take it from me, it can be very self destructive when we lose touch with reality by getting roped into reality TV.  I think with every passing year we become more and more of an "I want" society.  I wasn't raised in that environment.  I was raised in humble surroundings by parents and grandparents who worked hard and sacrificed much to gain little materially.  Ah, but they understood the Ultimate Reward was Heaven.

Spiritually, how can we grow as human beings and achieve contentment to the point that our mind doesn't torture our bodies by always wanting more?  Prayer is the first step, but there must be action that follows.  The devil is smart like a fox and he knows which buttons to push.  For those of us who have mental obstacles to overcome, it is no different.  The devil will use our illness to maximize our pain and suffereing.  Do you see that?  Medication is certainly necessary for many who suffer from mental illness, but the only real way to keep the devil from causing irrepreable damage to your life is with the full armor of God.  The devil is no match for God.  He's weak in the face of our Creator.

I have learned to put the following action plan into affect when I recognize I am struggling with discontent:
1.  Pray to God and ask forgiveness for anything I may have done to onset my struggle and ask for guidance and protection against the devil and his treachery.

2. Meditate and remind myself that EVERYTHING on the earth is temporary.  Material things can be gone in a flash and the ultimate reward is eternity in Heaven.  So few people in this world truly get that and it's a blessing for those of us who do.

3.  Recently I have learned the best way for me to snap out of a phase of discontent is to do something special for someone else.  There is great truth to the theory that someone else is always suffering more than you are.  Regardless of the gestrue, act of friendship, or simple prayer, doing something for someone less fortunate or going through a harder time than you just put things in perspective.  Life is all about having the right perspective.

4.  Finally, I document everything in my journal.  In my opinion, documentation is critical in gaining control of your mental health.  You may think you will remember everything, what caused a cycle, what you said and did, how you pulled out of it, but you won't.  You can't possibly, so write it down.  I write everything down.

God wants to bless us as His children.  There is nothing wrong with wanting more out of life than you have or achieving what might seem impossible to some.  For people like myself, we just have to find that healthy balance.

I pray that your experiences or those of your loved ones who may suffer will lead to a greater Godly plan.  Even if you don't have a regular battle with depression or other mental health issues, we all can learn a lesson on contentment.  Please share with your loved ones and let's all keep encouragning and praying for each other.  I welcome and appreciate your feedback.  Love to you all...