Gaining Perspective

Regardless of your situation in life, it is easy to become complacent and sedentary in your pursuits. Every person wants to succeed at something and every person defines success differently. I recently read a book about pursuing your dreams by one of my favorite authors, John Maxwell. He has had an extensive career in motivational speaking, writing, and ministering God's Word. Maxwell wisely advises his readers to escape to a peaceful place with a blank notebook, writing pad, or something to take notes with and pen their goals. It's never too late to get yourself back on track in life. God is merciful and forgiving. We should learn to treat ourselves with similar grace. When escaping to your quiet and peaceful place, write down your goals and what actions you need to take to accomplish those goals. There is no certain format that must be taken, only what works best for you. We live in a very stressful world. Our parents and grandparents had struggles of their own, but to us, nothing compares to our own generation and the same will apply to the next. Their obstacles will seem greater to them than ours to us. Today, you may find yourself wondering why you haven't accomplished a dream that has lingered in the back of your mind all your life. You may be thinking, "if I had only done this sooner, or if I had not made that mistake...." As hard as it is to accept and move on, the past is the past and it can either remain there, or it can dominate our futures. We are the only ones who can determine how we allow our past mistakes to influence our future.The future can be a blank canvas and we have the power to be our own artist. God provides the paint and the brush; the resources if you will. Deep in our hearts is where the vision lies. When I deliver a sermon to a congregation it is always based on a subject that I personally need to hear. I actually may be the person in the room listening the most. Early on, I heard a minister say that when he is pointing a finger at someone else, there is always four pointing back at him. I am writing this particular post because it is exactly what I need to "hear." I have been in an incredible low mood the past couple of weeks as part of my battle with bipolar disorder and manic depression. Stress at work and a feeling of failure has magnified my pain. I made some snap decisions this week that were evidence that I had reached a breaking point. I had to do something. I had to escape, regroup, and turn a page to a new blank canvas. My closest friends and I are spending a few days in Fairhope, AL. This beautiful southern town on Mobile Bay is a gentle and calming environment for rest and relaxation. It's a lovely place to clear your mind and strenghten your soul. I was here a few months ago and had left one of my journals in the condo. When I found it on the coffee table in our living room last night I flippped through the pages and read words of prayer from several months back. It was a reminder of a few constant struggles and that I am the only person who can take the appropriate measures to bring about necessary change. Today, I will start with a clean slate and redefine my goals and the path I need to pursue. I will create a realistic action plan that challenges my opportunities and builds on my strengths. You don't have to take a five hour drive to find a peaceful refuge. Simply walking to the park, or visiting a favorite quiet place can inspire the environment you need to gain a new perspective on your life. The most important point is not to settle for mediocrity and disappointment in your life. You are the artist....you have the vision. Pray for it to come to you. Love to all.

The Prettiest Girl

Someone told me once that it only takes one person to believe in you and others will begin to follow and before you know it you will have all the encouragement you need to chase your dreams.  I have certainly found this to be true in my life and it’s quite appropriate to celebrate the blessings God gives us.  This blog post is dedicated to the person who has pushed me to pursue my dreams and talents more than anyone else I have ever known, Sherry Johnson Morgan.

In my past postings, I have mentioned that I wanted to be a writer of some kind for as long as I can remember.  In the first grade, our teacher, Mrs. Green was the apple of my eye.  She looked like Snow White.  She had this beautiful flowing dark hair and the most beautiful eyes and smile.  She always had beautifully painted red lips matching her shiny finger nails and her heart was about as warm as anyone I had known.  I fell in love with her on the first day of school.  Of course, even back then, I was a realist.  I knew she was out of my league, by maybe twenty or thirty years!  As a young six year old Republican, I decided to set my sights on someone a little more attainable.  There were a few beautiful girls in our first grade class at Roy Webb, but it was a small community and I was related to most of them!  Stacye Bramlett, Autumn Champion and Tammy Townsend were a few that I had crushes on, but the girl in the class who stole all the boy’s hearts was Sherry Johnson.  She was by far the most popular.  I was particularly swept off my feet when Mrs. Green chose Sherry and I as the leading characters in the first grade play.  It was a Valentine Day play and was part of the PTA assembly.  I was the Prince and she became the Princess.  Well, in real life, romantic love never evolved for Sherry and I, but we developed a bond that remains strong to this day and I couldn’t be more blessed to have such a wonderful friend.

Later in our grammar school career, our sixth grade teacher and Principal, Mr. Holloway developed a weekly assignment requiring each of us to use our spelling words in a short story.  My classmates wrote funny stories about their families, vacations, hobbies, etc.  At the age of eleven, I was pretty creative.  I had been writing short stores and other material since I learned out compose a sentence at four years old.  Instead of just a short story, I wrote a script for a soap opera.  It took some convincing, but Mr. Holloway actually allowed me to cast my friends in this soap opera and we acted it out in the auditorium on stage.  My friend, Sherry was convinced back then that I was destined for success.

Later in high school, I would continue to write an ongoing fictional series, and she was my biggest fan.  Every week I wrote a different script, and for four years, she read it every single week.  At the end of the school year, there would be a cliffhanger and she would have to wait throughout the summer to see what was going to happen at the beginning of the new season, which was also the beginning of the new school year.  I had my first fan and my biggest supporter in Sherry Johnson.

Sherry remained the sweetest girl at Roy Webb and at our high school, Pleasant Valley.  She was extremely diplomatic and non-judgmental.  She basically loves everyone and I never knew of a single enemy she had.  When a parent thinks about how they want their child to turn out, I just know it would be just like Sherry Johnson. Some of her attributes are intelligent, talented, forgiving, accepting, honest, trustworthy, and oh so loyal.   

Sherry is the younger of two daughters born to Jimmy and Connie Johnson of Piedmont, AL.  Sadly, her older sister, Melissa passed away at a very young age.  Sherry always kept the memory of her sister alive, even though she was born after Missy’s death and never got the chance to know her.  I can only imagine how proud that little angel in Heaven is looking down on her little sister.  If she could speak to Sherry, I am sure she would tell her how beautiful her crown was going to be, because I don’t know of many people who have probably earned as many stars as she has.

After graduation, we attempted to keep in touch as much as possible, but careers and lives take us in different directions.  Sherry pursued a career in the legal field and later married her high school sweetheart, Patrick and gave birth to the absolute love of her life, DJ.  He is the cutest rascal you have ever laid your eyes on and has this smile that matches Sherry’s; however, you can tell his is completely mischievous.  He loves his mother with all his heart.

Sherry and I lost our fathers the same year and we have truly been able to grow our relationship even stronger over the last several years because of the internet and Facebook.  I always say that FB is a blessing from God because it gives us the chance to reconnect with our childhood friends who were truly like gold to us.

Sherry and I have many things in common including the fact that we sometime struggle with our emotions and we battle depression.  She has no idea what kind of influence she has on my life because if it weren’t for her, I would not still be writing to this day.  I could literally sit down and copy a paragraph of names from the phone book and she would find something positive and encouraging to say about it because she believes in me that much.  That is true friendship and it is the kind of gift that God bestows upon us to lift our hearts when they are heavy and to light our paths when they seem a little shaded.

Sherry supports my blog, reads my short stories, scripts, chapters from my books, and gives me the most honest opinions and compliments I could ever ask for.  Just last week when I received my first copy of my published article in Healthy Horizons Health and Wellness Magazine, I took a copy to her, signed at her request.  I couldn’t stay in her office long, because it was hard to keep my composure.  My forty year dream had finally reached a very pleasing reality and I had her to thank.  It was quite emotional.  There have been many times I wanted to give up hope, but Sherry has never allowed me to. 

My friend, Sherry Johnson Morgan is turning forty next month and I was going to wait until her birthday, on August 25 to post this blog entry, but she is going through some things this week and I felt like now was the best time to celebrate her.  My struggles with depression have been so difficult, but I know God strengthens me through the people that are in my life.  Sherry is one of those people.  She will forever be my friend.  We never judge each other, we only listen, advise, and encourage.  I am so lucky to have her in my circle and so honored to be a part of hers.

When you find yourself suffering and feeling like hope is fading, think about all the things God has done for you and the people he places in your path to lift your spirit, light your way, and hold your hand.  Please think about this and search your heart and soul, I know all of you have your very own Sherry Johnson Morgan…..

Love to you all.

Friendship Is A Gift From God

Friendship Is A Gift From God, published by Healthy Horizons Health and Wellness Magazine, 2012

Friendship is a gift from God.  In fact, love for your fellow man is arguably the best quality any person can possess.  I truly believe the relationships we form in this life are intended to teach us the true meaning of eternal love.  The Father wants us to long to be with Him and enjoy everlasting life, but He knows we are human and there is only so much faith in the unseen.  We can’t see Him, but we can see our loved ones in the flesh.  When someone we love dies, we always say that we long to be with them in Heaven.  I firmly believe we will be reunited in glory and we will know each other.  The love we share on this earth will be magnified in paradise.  Relationships are practice for eternity.  Whether it’s a romantic relationship, or simply a friendly relationship, the journey we take with another person can change our lives.  I am thankful for those who have shaped my life.  I dedicate this entry to all of my friends.

Today I had the opportunity to work with ten beautiful friends who suffer from depression or have a loved one who does.  It’s a new program at our church called “Emotional wellness.”  Before anyone arrived at the building this morning, I sat in the dim light and said a prayer on behalf of the congregation and the work we are doing at the Ohatchee Church of Christ.  I prayed that the Lord would bless each one of us and empower us to be open with one another.  He delivered!

We spent about two hours talking about personal struggles with the loss of loved ones, physical illnesses, childhood problems, divorce, and several other causes of depression , bipolar disorder, and other mental illnesses.  The goal was to create an environment where no judgment exists and each person can share their pain and seek encouragement and healing.  I was moved by the comments from my brothers and sisters.  We were in complete agreement that no more would we be ashamed of our plight.

There are three commitments I believe we have to make in order to conquer emotional issues.  The first is to pray about it.  Take everything to God in prayer.  I used to make excuses and say that I just hurt too much to pray.  I also felt that I was not worthy of God’s help because my faith seemed to be slipping.  What I had to realize is that God wants me to turn to Him in my hour of need.  As a Christian, I finally conformed.  There is nothing in life I can accomplish or even want to accomplish that I don’t take to him first.  I am one of those guys who tries to track everything I do, so I write it down.  I have a daily prayer journal and I write down my feelings, desires, needs, etc.  God is the first person I go to before my best friend, family, etc.

The second commitment is talk about it.  I will never make the mistake again of bottling it up inside.  It almost cost me my life several years ago.  Hiding from your problems will only make them worse.  True friends are there to listen even if they can’t do anything to help you.  Once I have told my thoughts to God, I can tell them to anyone.  I am no longer ashamed to say that I can’t always control my emotions.  I refuse to allow society to dictate how I live my life.  I encourage anyone who suffers from depression or related illnesses to confide in your friends and family.  It assigns accountability to yourself for your own actions.  It can keep you alive.  In addition to talking, you will find yourself actually listening.  In the emotional wellness workshop we each were able to gain insight on handling certain situations and realize that we were not alone.

The final commitment is be about it, which means do something!  Don’t be idle.  Be about it.  Get out and make something happen.  Go to the doctor.  Get some exercise.  Read about your condition online and find out what your options are.  Most people find medication to be helpful.  The most important thing to remember about taking medication for depression or other mental illnesses is that we are all different.  What works for someone else’s chemical imbalance may not work the same for yours.  Also, there is a need for trial and error.  Our bodies are always changing and if one medication does not work, it’s very possible that another one will.  You have to take control just as if it were any other physical illness.  You must manage it exactly the same.  Please do not be sedentary when dealing with mental illness.  Mental illness is no respecter of persons.  It can affect anyone, regardless of age, race, gender, etc. 

Philippians 2:2 says, “Agree with each other.  Love each other.  Be deep spiritual friends.”  God instructs us to reach out to one another in an effort to prepare us for eternal love and eternal life.  We need to make every effort to be great friends with one another.  Small thoughtful acts of kindness are more important than grand gestures.  Friendship is built on equality and caring for one another.  I encourage everyone to cultivate circles of friends to walk with you along this journey of life.  It’s been a good day!

What Will You Do With Your Influence?

Back in the 1970’s and 1980’s the cotton mills were flourishing throughout northeast Alabama.  In Calhoun County at least four or five mills ran seven days a week and three shifts.  A young boy’s parents worked second and third shift at a couple of the mills.  The adults rarely saw each other because their work schedules just had them pass briefly in the night.  It seemed as if the couple could never quite seem to get ahead.  It took everything Earned just to make ends meet.  That’s a normal kind of stress that many families went through then and still do now.  It can take a toll on a marriage, a relationship, and a family.

When the weekends or holidays rolled around and the couple was home at the same time, it seemed to be nothing but trouble.  The small single wide mobile home didn’t yield any space for a “man cave” for the man of the house or a “sewing parlor” for the lady.  Both adults were tired and stressed all the time and had very short fuses.  Every day they were together for more than a few hours it seemed that a fight would occur.

The fights were not like normal bickering, they were brutal.  Being raised with several brothers on a cotton farm, the mother was tough as nails and stood her ground a little too much.  She often threw the first punch.  There were many punches thrown.  Frying pans caused large knots on the tops of heads. Black eyes from a chair leg and knife wounds from threatening to stab one another were common.  As the children stood by screaming and begging for their parents to stop, their cries would go unheard, drowned out by the yelling and screaming.  The little boy, even at the young age of seven was charged with trying to break up the fight while the younger sister ran next door to fetch the grandmother.  When Granny would burst through the kitchen screen door with a broom in her hand and separate the two adults who lost control of their emotions and common sense, a small sense of normalcy would begin to return for a while. 

The little girl would dry her eyes and run off to play, but it had a lasting effect on the little boy.  A dark closet at the end of a large room built on the front of the mobile home became a hiding place.  Climbing over boxes of clothes, toys, and stored Christmas decorations, he would find solace in this quiet place.  Life’s stress may have caused the parents to hurt each other physically and emotionally, but the young boy bore the burden that would stay with him for the rest of his life.  Worries and heavy emotions caused serious gastrointestinal problems including ruptured appendix, inflamed gallbladder and eventually Crohn’s disease. 

God is a powerful and forgiving Creator.  Eventually the couple was blessed with a grandchild and it changed their ways.  They mended their relationship, repented of their sins and obeyed the Gospel.  The kids grew up and found their own way and their own worries.  The little girl ran away at eighteen, married and divorced quickly and feels great resentment.  The little boy still has a hard time facing the world some days and can only find comfort in the darkness of the very back corner of a small closet.

When we as adults take on the role of parents, guardians, teachers, preachers, role models, etc., we have to accept the responsibility that comes with influencing the lives of others.  Influence is the greatest assignment anyone could ever be given.  Whatever role you are given that charges you with the opportunity to make an impact on the life of someone else, remember this story.  Concentrate on how bright you could make the path of the young person watching you by your behavior.  If you are so blessed as to have children, realize their future may very well depend on your present.  What will you do with your influence?

Much Love To You All……

Let God Provide The Directions

Have you ever been traveling with friends or family on a long trip and taken a wrong turn? Of course you may have maps, a GPS, or other resources to keep you on the right path, but like most of us with an ego, we think our "inner compass" needs no outside assistance. Once you make that wrong turn, there is no telling how many miles out of the way you may have to travel before you even realize you are headed down the wrong route. Depending on the terrain and topography, it may be difficult to find an acceptable spot to turn your vehicle around safely and back track to the original point of your incorrect detour. This analogy applies to the general direction of our lives when we fail to utilize the tools God has given us to stay on path. We become impatient, thinking He is not answering our prayers fast enough, so we decide to "help Him out" by plotting our own new course. I have made so many mistakes by allowing my anxiety and impatience to negatively impact my walk with God. He certainly forgives our sins, but that doesn't mean we don't have to endure consequences for our mistakes. I find myself at times traveling down the wrong road and wondering when God is going to provide me with a new route or a safe place to turn around and get back on track. How many years have I wasted trying to do things on my own instead of understanding the principle of allowing God to work in His own time? The Word clearly tells us that if we ask and do His good Will, the prayers will be answered and the blessings will chase us down. We don't have to chase them down, God will shower us in due time. We must make adjustments in our lives to trust God far and above any man and more importantly more than ourselves. His rationale may not always be clear to us, but we can rest in the solid confidence that our dreams in accordance with His Will shall come true. As I venture down paths that are stealing my joy, adding to my depression and anxiety and prolonging my destiny, it occurs to me that God is so supernatural and divine. Who else would put up with the kind of selfish behavior we sinners exhibit? We see the material things others have and think. "why can't I have that now, I am a great person?". The truth is that success not ordained by God may only last for a season, but what is blessed by Him and in accordance with His Will is very much worth the wait because it is long term. Look at the road you are on and ask yourself if you made a wrong turn trying to speed up the process? If the answer to that question is to the affirmative, it's time to ask God to get you back on the right track as soon as possible and allow you to overcome the mistakes you have made. No telling how many tanks of gas I have wasted in the last several years allowing my impatience to cause wrong turns. I hope you will join me in saying a prayer of thanksgiving for such a wonderful and merciful God and share this with others who may need a little encouragement. Let's all make more of an effort to allow God to give us the directions on life's highway. Love to you all.